The Messy in Relationships

messy-relationships-300x264When I was a manager I use to think the last person I hired was the best person I ever hired. Maybe you think that new neighbor is the best neighbor ever. Or that new boyfriend is the best find ever. All of those examples may be true – but let’s face it. Relationships are messy. But understanding the process of a relationship helped me tremendously

  • The honeymoon stage is the one we begin with. At this point we usually have an unrealistic view of the relationship. And the excitement of finding someone who meets a need tends to temporarily blind us to their negative traits
  • Specific irritation is the stage where we begin to discover the things we don’t like. Here we develop a memory bank of these negative traits
  • General discomfort should cause us to deal with the specific irritations that have piled up in our memory bank

Most often if a relationship is going to succeed it happens before the next stage

  • Try harder is a stage of development where we raise our energy level to make a success of the relationship
  • Exhaustion often leads to problems in a relationship because we have grown tired at this point. At this point we often give up

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